We all live with time constraints – there are 24 hours in each day no matter who you are or where you are or how successful or unsuccessful you think you are. But we are all working with a unique set of resources…money, skills, relationships, physical and intellectual strengths, dreams, passions, etc. It’s easy to compare oneself to another and come out wanting – it will always be so because each person is unique and will never be exactly like another. Remember, the reverse is also true – you possess something – a skill, personal quality, physical characteristic – that someone else lacks.

So, whether you find the comparison a source of encouragement or discouragement, comparisons can really be very counterproductive …a time waster…reeeally bad time management. If only I looked like him, if only I had the MBA from that Ivy League university, if I could play the piano like her, if I could only make people laugh the way he does…it all looks so easy and like the ultimate solution…but this line of thinking and reasoning serve only to prevent you from reaching your own goals or even considering what your goals might be. These other people didn’t start out that way – most people have to work to achieve the success they have and we all tend to compare ourselves to others…even the ones who seem to have it all, or at least to have the things we believe we want most.

So, is this a good way to spend your time? The more time you spend telling yourself how unsuccessful you are compared to another, the less time you have to get where you want to be. If you really wanted to be an expert piano player, or have blonde hair, or go to pilates classes 3 times per week, you would be working towards those goals. If you are not working toward those goals, then obviously you have decided that there are more important priorities in your life.

Now would be a good time to adjust your thinking – by all means admire the accomplishments and qualities you like in others but leave it at that. Making negative comparisons with other people is really just a way to avoid taking ownership of your own life and taking responsibility for making and reaching your own goals. It can be a scary prospect to take responsibility for your own dreams, to admit that you have them, to decide which ones to pursue or not to pursue, and then commit to the priorities you have chosen. And you have chosen your priorities even if you aren’t enjoying yourself in pursuit of your goals. The answer may be as simple as changing your mind by rejecting the negative comparisons and deciding that your choices are good ones, they are choices you want and they are valuable goals worth pursuing. Or it may go more like this – I’m not pursuing what I really want but I know that I make my own choices. Therefore I’m going to make changes in my life to pursue my true passions. Either way, all that time and energy wasted on comparisons can be refocused onto the goals you really want to pursue.

And you don’t have to make changes all at once – this can be a recipe for failure. You are the best judge of what you can handle. Pick one goal, make a plan by breaking it down into tasks necessary to reach that goal, then walk it out. For example, your goal may be to get your whole house organized. That’s a big one but you can make it more manageable by breaking it down into smaller projects – setting up a home office, organizing the linen closet, cleaning out the kitchen cupboards, redecorating the bathroom. Sit down with a notepad and dream a little. Visualize your home as you want it to be – an organized space laid out in a pleasing way, your stuff organized so it’s accessible and easy to find, your time allocated to those tasks that move you toward your goals.

Achieving your goals may still feel overwhelming – don’t be afraid to tap into the skills that others have and learn from them. If getting organized is a challenge because you don’t have enough time or you are overwhelmed or whatever the reason may be, call for help! If you need legal advice, you call a lawyer because the lawyer has expertise you need. If you need financial advice, you may call a CPA. We can’t all go to law school – we can’t all be CPAs. And no one expects us to be all of these things. It’s no different where organizing is concerned – few of us are ever taught how to organize our space or stuff or time, but we can call on experts for help and advice.